Parenting with Purpose
Written by Julie M. Armenta M.A., Education & Family Specialist & Founder of
It's that time of year again, and it's time to start the school year off with purposeful parenting. Some parents’ views and parenting skills differ, but what some may view as a lack of parenting, I call “parenting on purpose”. It is important to build up the necessary skills for our children to be successful in life. We need to let our children learn on their own and not be a helicopter parent. We don't want to hover as a parent, but it's important to teach them with time, patience, discipline and positive reinforcement. If our children rely on us too much they will never learn to be independent thinkers, goal setters and action takers. We need to teach our children to be independent, and responsible leaders in the world. That not only makes the family life and school time better, but also the work life easier in the future. It also makes it easier for them to transition and become more adaptable and capable of making their own good decisions to become more successful as adults. It is up to us as parents, teachers and mentors to be role models. We will see the best results when we teach them how to take risks, be accountable, be responsible and learn from their mistakes.
Here are seven ideas to help your children become more responsible at an early age:
» 1. You may need to get an alarm for your children to wake themselves up. If they get up late, they may miss breakfast or not have time for a shower, but after that happens a couple times they will learn to get up on their own. It will help them make good decisions, learn good management skills and learn to be on time and not rely on us to wake them and get them ready for their day.
» 2. Have your kids make their own lunch. Have them make it the night before and maybe even make it for you and their younger siblings as well. As a parent it is our job to buy groceries and have food in the house, but not necessarily prepare all of their meals. I also recommend not going back to get their lunch or bring it to them if they forget to bring it to school. It will help them remember once they have to go without and wait until they get home to eat. They will learn on their own to fend for themselves if they have to wait, as tough as that may sound. This will make an impact that you mean business and that they need to become responsible and think for themselves and plan for the day.
» 3. Have your kids pick out their own clothes and do their own laundry. It is good to pick a certain day for biweekly or weekly laundry goals.
» 4. I also believe it's a good learning skill to have students fill out any paperwork their teacher gives them so they learn how to handle their responsibilities on their own. It is okay to check it afterwards, help them through the process and sign it if that's necessary. Just have them do most of the work on their own.
» 5. Give your child chores to do so they can help out daily or weekly. Have them clean their room and help around the house. Make it a family situation. It is very good to role model and show them that they are to do part of the household responsibilities. It teaches our children a good work ethic, working together as a family.
» 6. Have them make their own money as soon as the teens are able to work. It's good to give them some financial responsibilities. Kids want you to buy them things all the time. It's a good lesson for them to learn how to earn, budget and make decisions on how to spend their well-earned money. It also gives a child an opportunity to discover their interests, create balance in their lives, learn money management and more. For example, your child can find jobs babysitting, tutoring kids, walking dogs, mowing lawns, washing cars and more. It is important to teach our children responsibility and independence and what it's like to be in the real world to earn your keep. It's also a good way for children to learn what they're interested in as a possible future career. They will also learn some skills for themselves. Even volunteer work is a great way to get your child exposed to responsibility and Independence.
» 7. Make sure your child minds their manners. While education standards constantly change, basic courtesy and politeness never goes out of style. Simple manners such as teaching your children their please and thank you’s, putting away the phone and having some family time are easy and effective tools to use daily. These are very important to start with at a very young age and will stay with them forever. There is nothing better than having a polite, well-mannered and respectful child at a very young age.
In conclusion, purposeful parenting gives our children a sense of purpose and the ability of mastering skills in real-world situations. Our goal as parents is to let our children be heard but we are the parent, not their friend. It is our responsibility to guide, love and protect them as they make their own paths for themselves. Parenting with purpose is an effective way to parent and gives our children a life filled with meaning, success and happiness.
It is obviously important to be very involved with our children lives and to be part of everything they do. However, it is also important to step back let them grow, let them discover, and let them stand in the world on their own. This is important to create successful and happy adults.
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Julie M. Armenta, MA Founder & Education & Family
28062 Forbes Road. #B
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
At ALA we not only educate your child, but we teach them the skills to be effective in school and in life. Our goal is to teach them responsibility, leadership, and how to become independent thinkers. We are truly honored and privileged to work with your children on this beautiful journey.
Mrs. Armenta and her staff are experts at developing well-rounded and impactful programs for students. We make clear goals and objectives for your child to reach their unique needs, strengths, weaknesses, and talents. ALA actively engages parents in student learning programs. We are available for one on one or small group sessions and through counseling, coaching and group classes. At ALA, we can assess your children for learning and behavior disorders and create individualized and personalized programs that will most greatly benefit their progress. We offer school, home school and tutoring options available for all learning needs, including Special Needs and Gifted students. We are available 7 days a week, ages Pre-K through adult, 8am to 8pm, onsite or offsite! Your child finally gets the attention and expertise they need and deserve to be successful in school and in life. Call for support in all subjects in your home or at the Academy. We guarantee success!